What toddlers can teach us

I recently became a mum, well, perhaps not so recently anymore, considering the fatidic day was in 2017, and as a mum interested in psychology, child development and the Montessori method, I have loved observing my child do things …. a lot.

I’m especially in awe of his willingness to repeat something till he’s mastered it. I watched my son pushing so hard on not yet developed leg muscles to stand up, helping himself by grabbing something or anything that would allow him to stand up. And then fall. Fall again and again and again, and often wondered when he would have enough of it, when he would feel discomfort if any, or when he would call for us to pick him up.

And then he tried again the next day, and the one after that, until one day he mastered standing up, to which quickly followed the cruising around furniture for balance and then finally the first unaided step. I didn’t have to help him, I didn’t have to encourage him, I didn’t have to do a darn thing! Now imagine that natural and unbreakable will-power in yourself, in adulthood.

How many times have you had a great idea, only to think yourself out of it because it might have been hard to implement, or you actually decided to go ahead, started working out the small details, hit a wall and given up. Or even worst, worked at it for a whole year and then got tired of it, because you couldn’t see any good results or someone close told you that it’ll never work or you’re not good enough to make it a success? What would you give to be like a toddler? What would you need to feel like you can’t fail? Why do you let fear eat away at your dreams? Some tips to keep on track:

– Write a list of all of the reasons you are doing it for. Perhaps it’s your child’s education, perhaps you want to travel the world or buy a new car, or you just want to succeed and show a middle finger to those who put you down in the past. Or perhaps is just to prove to yourself you can and nothing more. Remember that success is different for everyone, so own it and make it yours. Once you have a long list of reasons, read it, read it when things get tough, add to it, cross items off, evolve with it, but keep it close to your heart: the motivation is there.

– Priorities: life gives you a daily reminder that your mind, your focus and your attention should be somewhere else. Working from home, my attention, especially in the last 6 months, has been on the washing machine, on cooking, on tying up loose ends caused by lockdown and trying not to go insane without childcare. That’s not my personal priority list, but that is my life’s priority list and I had to accept that to keep things ticking over, I had to let go of other priorities while letting some people down (very unlike me and thank you for your patience). I am blessed that my husband earns enough to cover our living costs so that I could look after our son fully, and accepting that I just couldn’t spend my time writing an article or seeing a client, was key to release the stress caused by

the situation. You must choose what you can do in the 24 hours we’ve been given. Prioritise them and if it means you couldn’t wipe the cooker, or clean the floor because you wanted to make that important call or reply to a possible new sale or fill in a dream job application form, then don’t get stressed about it. Just accept it and enjoy it. You’ve fallen but you can still get up and try again tomorrow, like a toddler.

– If you’re starting a business, always seek the help of a specialist in the field, someone who you must interview first and contract to coach you. As much as we like to be a one man’s band, it’s easier to do it with some expertise from someone whose been there, someone who can teach you to avoid certain pitfalls, learn and then practice what they preach.

– Are fears holding you back to become the best version of you? Seek a therapist; a good one can eliminate lots of blocks and fears on very few appointments, sometimes just one is necessary.

And if you truly feel you need more help to speak to your GP, find a coach or a therapist. Don’t waste a minute more, there is always a way out.

Tamara Flumignan – @LyncroftStudio – www.LyncroftStudio.com

Author: luke